My best friend is having a baby! And by my best friend having a baby I mean that my best friend, who is a newly appointed doula, is about to perform in her first birth! She’s the doula for her sister’s birth. Not only is this her first birth, but it’s also her first niece or nephew. When I was told that the baby was on the way I meditated and sent a prayer to Amani, my friend who will be the doula, Namik, the momma to be, and Gaia, the new bundle of light that is in the process of coming into the world. I sent prayer of safe and positive and healthy birthing. I thought about information I would want to impart to my daughter (if I were having one) and came up with the prayer listed below:
I pray that Gaia comes into the world with knowingness, a heart full of love and joy, proud of her womynness, reveling in her blackness, fiercely loving of self, full of arrogance yet with enough grace to ask for help, the knowledge that she is made up of her ancestors and to honor and know that they are always there for guidance, an open heart to love, the wisdom to always listen to her inner compass, and discretion when figuring out with whom to share her love and in which ways, a predisposition to self care and a drive to make it apart of her life without feeling guilty about it, to read and research everything but come to her own thoughts, an appreciation of crying as the body’s release mechanism, a fighter of patriarchy, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, racism, and the many other ills of American society, the ability to nurture others without self sacrificing, confidence to cherish every kinky or curly hair follicle, every bend and curve that she will be composed of, a community to fully support her if she’s queer or realizes that she’s not actually not a “she” at all, but a boi, or he, or they, or spends her whole life figuring it out and enjoys every minute of the sometimes confusing journey while respecting the journey that others are on, the knowledge to see people where they are, not their “potential,” or where they “could be,” and accept that, creativity and passion to get whatever she wants, understanding early on the power of words, spoken and unspoken, written and thought, and that only the thoughts that are fed are the ones that grow, hopes that she DNA that has been healed from trauma experienced from ancestors and she continues this healing process, the yearn to dance and never stop, a supportive and lovingly community of friends that support and push her to become her best self, the knowledge that as a black womyn, she will experience a reality unlike any other, one that maybe full of trauma, loss, and uncertainty, and although she did not create these circumstances, she has inherited them, and despite these realities, does not forget for one second how incredibly important she is, and that she is a revolutionary, that living as a black child/ women/girl in America is an act of revolt, and prayer that she doesn’t experience the totally understandable depths of depression when fully realizing how fucked up this country is and instead can somehow transform this information to fuel own her life work, and to never shrink herself to make someone else comfortable, participate in conversations that affirm her sexual self; that whether she practices celibacy or becomes a sex worker, that she is not to be ashamed about her sexuality, as long as it feels right for her, to resist any need that tell her to alter herself for someone to love her, as she is enough just as she is, that it is sacred and special and should be cherished, the right to live passionately, and that many times on this road of living a full and passionate life she will be misunderstood and that’s perfectly okay,
and most of all, I pray that she always remembers that she is light.
After thinking and writing this, I realize that these are all things I needed to hear. I needed this reminder. So thank you baby Gaia. I know your aunt (and mom!) are ready to receive you so that change the world.